August 31, 2009
Even with the best of all intentions, deadlines fall by the waste side and the productive muscles atrophy. I try to refute the label "Jill of all trades" because it implies "master of none". Yet I do take on a wide variety of tasks, projects, and hobbies. Yes, even hobbies. You are probably wondering how someone who teaches full time and is in a PhD program has time to entertain hobbies. Well, somehow I do- and sometimes I don't. Sometimes I am productive and efficient with work and school and family and life. Sometimes, I'm not.
So, what do you do when multi-tasking turns into multi-slacking? If I had that kind of advice I would probably be typing in my Word document right now, rather than blogging. But alas, both windows are open. So is it a choice to blog rather than work on my article or put the final touches on my syllabus or call my mother or text my boyfriend or email my adviser? Choices. Hmm. I do have the best of all intentions- juggling multiple commitments. Commitments. Hmm. I know that the overall point of all of my multiple tasks on pages and pages of "to do" lists are designed to keep me balanced in all of the areas of my life. Balance. Hmm. So why does it seem like I can't commit to the multiple choices? Why do I feel so out of balance?
Is it really possible to multi-task? Or are you always doomed to feel like you're multi-slacking? Can you ever really be a Jill of all trades? Or are you doomed to be the master of none? That makes me wonder who came up with this idea about balance anyway. I thought it was suppose to improve my mental health. It seems that having balance in your life is somehow related to balancing on a tight rope. Or am I missing the point of balancing? It wouldn't be the first point I've ever missed.
Here's the deal. I hate slackers. I hate slacking. Yet in my search for a balanced life of more than just work and school, my multi-tasking has become multi-slacking. I want to do it all, have it all, be it all. And maybe I'm feeling like the Master of none. Yet, I want to be the PhD of one. Hmm. I do suppose this should have some priority in my life. It's just so weighty. To counter balance it also takes a lot. Hmm. Counterbalance.
There's a lot to think about. I guess I'll start by switching back to my Word document.
August 24, 2009
That's how I have been feeling. Like I am really full of it. Hot air. Jibbajabba. Nonsense. I really keep saying I'm gonna do this damn thing, but I keep falling off. I seem to lack consistency. I can't really tell you why. I struggle with the same old things. Blogging- ha. I've been m.i.a. and I know it! Writing in general- ha! I know, I know. Stay positive. Get up the next day and try again, and again, and again. Get a new iphone app that not only keeps track of my tasks but also screams "get off your ass" at me a few times a day. Now I'll spend the next 30 minutes looking for that app!
oh well, back to work.
October 22, 2008
What a horrible word- deadline. It sounds so final! But final never seems very final. I have been working on a journal article for . . . a long time. I hate missing deadlines, but sometimes life happens. Plan for success, but remember- sometimes, you can only do what you can do! Do your best. When you miss a deadline, get up the next day and - do your very best. Be honest with yourself. Feeling bad doesn't get the work done. Only doing it gets it done.
Now, I will do my best to take my own advise. :)
October 20, 2008
One of the most important things that I am learning is accountability. I have always been able to meet requirements and be responsible for tasks. However, lately it has been increasingly difficult to meet competing demands for my time. The one thing that ends up falling off of my plate is my writing. I always feel like I can pick it back up later- after I attend to countless other things. Unfortunately, I then find myself in a bind. You must find someone else to have accountability "check-ins" with when you have independent projects to do. This could be your adviser or a friend (one that will actually tell you to get to work and help you figure out how to get started again). It can be helpful to have that someone whose specific purpose is to call you or take your call every week to give an update. You can pay someone to do this, or you can use someone your know that won't let you BS your way out of why you did nothing all week. !
October 18, 2008
There has to be more to this experience than mere survival. At different points in my Ph.D. program, I think I found something more. However, now I just hope that I can fall asleep without the variables floating in my head, and wake up without "theory" being my first thought. -especially since those thoughts and concepts aren't really attached to anything. They are almost superficial thoughts. Not grounded. I, sometimes, am not grounded. I am surviving, but I am anxious to thrive. Today, tomorrow, and beyond. I plan to thrive. You must plan success or failure is the default. You must also plan to do more than merely survive.
If this were easy . . . everyone would do it.