I am surviving.

There has to be more to this experience than mere survival.  At different points in my Ph.D. program, I think I found something more.  However, now I just hope that I can fall asleep without the variables floating in my head, and wake up without "theory" being my first thought.  -especially since those thoughts and concepts aren't really attached to anything.  They are almost superficial thoughts.  Not grounded.  I, sometimes, am not grounded.  I am surviving, but I am anxious to thrive.  Today, tomorrow, and beyond.  I plan to thrive.  You must plan success or failure is the default.  You must also plan to do more than merely survive.  

If this were easy . . . everyone would do it.

-cas